TOP 10

Ways to tell you're about to be

sued by Worldwide Pants for

for plagarizing the Top-10 List Concept

• 10. Everytime you finish writing another top-10 list, the clouds get dark and you hear an ominous rumbling sound.
  

•  9. You hear the sound of Keebler elves coming from your computer's disk drive.
  
•  8. The Grinder Girl arrives on your doorstep, and this time she looks mean, not seductive.
  
•  7. CBS interne Monte breaks off your marriage-engagement to her.
  
•  6. You're the topic of one of Dave's Top-10 lists, and notice Anton Figg erecting a gallows next to his drum kit.
  
•  5. Some guy keeps setting himself on fire and running around on your front lawn.
  
•  4. You get a visit from Alan Kolter, promising he can "fix the problem" if you agree to get "chummy" with him - whatever that means.
  
• 3. You see a coffin with your name on it being pushed off the roof of Rockefeller center.
  
• 2. You are offered up to the "Will it Float" altar w/lead-weights tied around your neck and ankles.
  
• 1. Dave pulls some strings to get you guest spots on Conan and Leno.